Brilliant Recipe For 'Easy Christmas Cake'

I came across this great recipe for 'Easy Christmas Cake'...I might just give this a go!  Enjoy.

Easy Christmas cake 

Ingredients:

2 cups flour 
1 stick butter 
1 cup of water 
1 tsp baking soda 
1 cup of sugar 
1 tsp salt 
1 cup of brown sugar 
Lemon juice 
4 large eggs 
Nuts 
2 bottles wine 
2 cups of dried fruit.

Method:

First, sample the wine to check the quality. Take a large bowl, check 
the wine again. To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level 
cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat o…ne cup of 
butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. 
At this point it’s best to make sure the wine is still OK. Try another 
cup… Just in case. Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 eggs and add 
to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Pick the frigging 
fruit up off floor. Mix on the turner.. If the fried druit gets stuck 
in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the wine 
to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. 
Check the wine. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one 
table. Add a spoon of sugar, or some fink. Whatever you can find. 
Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall 
over. Don’t forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl 
through the window. Finish the wine and wipe counter with the cat. Go 
to Tesco and buy cake .